The Onion Story

One day I was at McDonald’s with my mom and nan. I was looking forward to my happy meal and when they called out our number I ran to the counter to retrieve our food. I carefully carried the full tray back to our table and when my mom saw the disappointment on my face, she asked if I didn’t get the toy that I wanted. Who cares about toys I thought, while I stared at my cheeseburger and mumbled that they forgot the onions.

My mom, knowing how shy of a kid I was, tried to tell me that I could just go ask for onions! Yea, sure lady, let me just walk into the dragon’s lair and ask for the treasure. This was when I learned that my mom was certifiably crazy.

Meanwhile, my nan started to get up from her seat. Finally, an adult with some compassion and empathy. Not. So. Fast. My mom looked to her mom and very calmly said that I’m a big boy and if I wanted onions I could go ask for them myself. The gall of this woman. She is supposed to be my guardian?! I put my burger down, folded my arms, and scowled like the brat that I was.

My nan again looked to my mom, and that’s when my mom taught me an important lesson.

“Jesse, if you want onions on your burger, you can walk over there and ask them for your onions. There are going to be lots of times when you don’t get your onions in life, and unless you stand up and ask for them, you’re going to eat a lot of plain burgers.”

Everyone, including childhood Jesse, knows that the only acceptable “plain” is pizza. Onionless burger in hand, I stood up from my chair. I turned to face the gallows and marched in slow motion towards the counter. I was greeted by a smiling teenager asking if I needed anything. I glanced back at my mom and read her lips as she said “go get them onions.” I looked up to the cashier and quietly told them what was going on.

Not only did I get my onions, but I also was given an extra happy meal that just so happened to have the toy that I wanted!

The moral of this layered affair? Even crazy ladies are right sometimes. Thanks mom!